I'm a Mechanic, Get Me Out of Here! (But Not Actually)

I bloody love Splatoon! I love the mess. I love the action. I love the feeling of hunting my fellow man from the confines of my well laid ink puddles. Nintendo has done a remarkable job of taking a simple concept, blasting ink in people’s faces, and making it one of the most enjoyable and satisfying series of third-person shooters to date. So, you can imagine I was a little taken aback when I found out that Splatoon Raiders would have none of the PVP mayhem I’d become accustomed to, instead focusing solely on a single-player campaign. 

But never let it be said I’m not one to try new things! I strapped on my helmet, boarded my plane and started my new life as a pilot: a new life, that, 30 seconds in, came to a startlingly sudden near-end when said plane crashed. Fast forward and now I’m stuck on a floating raft in the middle of the ocean with the same idol trio, ‘Deep Cut’, that I spent most of Splatoon 3 trying to avoid listening to. 

Well, the potential of an untreated concussion aside, things have been going pretty well! I can see the shores of Spirhalite Islands from our floating base of operations. The first few expeditions out to scavenge for parts, resources, and treasures have been spent fending off waves of Salmonids who are, quite understandably, not super pleased at an armed invader coming in, mowing down their friends and taking their stuff. I’d debate the ethics of what we’re doing but I’m stuck with three very excitable TV personalities who just discovered how much money there is in rare artefact fencing. So, for the sake of not being Lord of the Flies’d, I’m begrudgingly going along with this plan to scrape the islands for all their worth. But I refuse to enjoy it. 

I’d debate the ethics of what we’re doing but I’m stuck with three very excitable TV personalities who just discovered how much money there is in rare artefact fencing.

I changed my mind, this rules! Maybe it’s the fact I don’t have teammates to worry about or that unlike in PVP, I can afford to get creative and experimental. I keep telling myself ‘just one more run’. That was 3 hours ago. The Salmonids are constantly moving: Flyfish circle the skies, Scrappers try to force you into corners, Steel Eels leave trails of sludge in their path and the Bigshot’s ground pound blast has quickly become the bane of my existence. But once that battle music kicks up and the ink starts flying it’s hard to stop! 

Having one of the three ‘Deep Cut’ members as my Bot Buddy on these excursions has actually been incredibly useful. Aside from picking up the Power Eggs that Salmonids leave behind, they also have a unique special ability that you can activate once charged. I don’t know where Frye is keeping this army of moray eels when she’s not raining down hell for me but I’m thankful for her regardless. 

I’ve more or less settled on my Soap-Bottle Splattershot as my weapon of choice. Paired with my Tactical Tank, I’ve made myself into a machine of efficiency, keeping Salmonids at a distance until I’m ready to close the gap and deliver the finishing blow. 

I was a Splat Roller main for most of my time in Splatoon 3 but I don’t find it has the same kick here that it used to. Or maybe it’s just that the more open battlefields lend themselves to weapons with a bit more range? Regardless, I’m pretty content with my load out and in no rush to change what works. That being said I do have a stockpile of weapons I’ve been collecting that I should probably deal with at some point. I don’t know where we’re storing those but I can’t imagine it’s not doing any good for the weight balance of the base. 

A problem for another day!

Reporting live from atop the petard I’ve been hoisted by. I was thoroughly humbled by a Salmonid the size of a school bus and now I’m neck deep in upgrades, stat blocks, weapon specs, and unused ability modifiers I neglected to look into until now. Turns out there’s actually quite a varied customisation system here if you have an ounce of curiosity to use it.

The resources you collect go into upgrading the hideout which in turn grants you access to more facilities like the weapon and gadget development stations. From there you can craft upgrades to attach to your loadout, provided you have enough slots to use them. Your health, weapon and gadget damage and slot space can all be independently expanded with skill points earned through progression. Relic power ups can be applied to give you small buffs like increased healing in ink puddles or the chance of triggering a small explosion while firing your weapon. And finally the Salmonid Power Eggs I’ve apparently been having the trio store…somewhere unnameable…go into upgrading the Power Packs with each one needing to farm a certain amount per major upgrade. 

Well consider my flabbers ghasted! It turns out I do actually enjoy tinkering when there’s enough variety to feel like I’m actually making something to suit my play style! My next run at the boss was much more effective and I even went back for seconds with a small team of online players I called in for backup just to make things go a little faster. I thought I was so slick at level 20 only to get absolutely mogged by two level 50 players who wiped the floor with the boss. I provided moral support. Which is also important. Go team.

Maybe it’s the fact I don’t have teammates to worry about or that unlike in PVP, I can afford to get creative and experimental.

I have more compasses than I know what to do with all leading me to different optional ‘Sampler’ dungeons so I figured today would be the day I clear them off my list. Also so I can farm experience so as to be slightly more useful than the water-girl the next time I call in for backup. What I’ve found however, is the one part of Splatoon Raiders I dislike. Let me explain. Each of these Sampler dungeons typically restricts you to using one specific gadget or weapon, teaching you the ins and outs so you can make the most effective use of them in battle. I can get behind that, I love a challenge. What I don’t love is being stuck in a death loop, respawning again and again because I keep hitting the same issue. 

A lot of these gauntlets demand precision in your aim and movement which I don’t feel translates super well to Splatoon, a series that I’ve always found encourages the messy and erratic. One in particular that drove me barmy was called ‘Dashes of Spice’, using the Dash Bomb to propel you across gaps in the floor. Trouble is the Dash Bomb is a weirdly designed item that only activates when you release the trigger button, not when you press it, creating a delightfully annoying delay that caused more deaths than I’ve had in the entire game up to that point. 

Blessedly, like I said, these levels are entirely optional; but for completionists out there, all I can say is you’re stronger than me and have earned the bragging rights. Instead of ramming my head into a brick wall over and over again, I turned my attention to the Spicy Levels. These provide you the same experience of levels you’ve already covered but with tougher enemies and larger rewards should you succeed. Because each run is usually quite short, no more than 10 minutes max, the novelty doesn’t have a chance to wear off. It’s just more of what I already like but slightly tougher! Maybe I’m dragging out these challenges so I don’t have to see the ending that’s looming ahead. I’m having a lot of fun and I don’t mind retreading old ground to keep it going a bit longer.

Well that’s it. I’ve done all there is to do in Splatoon Raiders….well not entirely; I’m still staunchly ignoring ‘Dashes of Spice’ and I just found out there’s a secret ending that I didn’t know existed. But in spirit I have reached my ending and I can quite confidently say I had a phenomenal time getting there! Splatoon Raiders wasn’t what I was expecting and I’m glad for it, I was worried that it wouldn’t be able to sustain a single player campaign after so many years deriving its enjoyment from player vs player action. Splatoon Raiders, instead, has taken the very best aspects of its fast paced combat, expanded the weapon system and taken full advantage of its colourful, animated world building and made one of my favourite games this year.

It’s also made my in-game self incredibly rich so I look forward to the next instalment playing a Salmonoid coming back for revenge!